


When the Day Met the Night

by bokuakabeam



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, M/M, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is Bad at Feelings, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Self-Harm, Smoking, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-08 17:44:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20839511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokuakabeam/pseuds/bokuakabeam
Summary: Richie.The scent of him, usually a mix of cologne and cigarettes that made Eddie’s mouth water; the sight of him, his hair always falling into his face and his glasses constantly slipping down the bridge of his nose; the way his skin felt when Eddie ran his fingers across his arms, causing goosebumps to rise. The way his lips felt, and the way he would always slightly smile each time Eddie would crash his lips against his own.The small things are what drew Eddie to Richie; things like the frustration that grew on Richie’s face and the scrunching of his eyes once he had tried out contacts for the first time. The way his hair would always stick to his neck when he would sweat, and how his eyes always seemed to have a glint of humor behind them, no matter the situation. That humor had gotten Richie into some pretty major trouble throughout the years, but Eddie knew that. He didn’t care.He only cared that after the best summer of his life, Richie was leaving.And he was scared shitless.





	1. Beginning

_ Richie.  _

_ The scent of him, usually a mix of cologne and cigarettes that made Eddie’s mouth water; the sight of him, his hair always falling into his face and his glasses constantly slipping down the bridge of his nose; the way his skin felt when Eddie ran his fingers across his arms, causing goosebumps to rise. The way his lips felt, and the way he would always slightly smile each time Eddie would crash his lips against his own.  _

_ The small things are what drew Eddie to Richie; things like the frustration that grew on Richie’s face and the scrunching of his eyes once he had tried out contacts for the first time. The way his hair would always stick to his neck when he would sweat, and how his eyes always seemed to have a glint of humor behind them, no matter the situation. That humor had gotten Richie into some pretty major trouble throughout the years, but Eddie knew that. He didn’t care.  _

_ He only cared that after the best summer of his life, Richie was leaving.  _

_ And he was scared shitless.  _  
  


**5 Months Before**

“Eddie-bear, it’s time for school!”

Eddie groaned, rolling over to face the wall and rubbing his eyes. “Fuck, what time is it,” he muttered to himself, bringing the blanket over his goosebump-ridden body. 

“Eddie?” He cringed at the sharp rapping against his door before whipping his head around once the door opened. “Eddie! You have to get to school!” His mother shrieked at him, stomping over and tugging the blanket off of him. His mother had let herself go after his father’s death. But not only had she put on quite a bit of weight, she had tightened the leash she had on Eddie to an inescapable degree.

“And you need to start wearing the pajamas I got you, you’ll catch your death of a cold wearing something as  _ revealing _ as that.” She gestured towards Eddie’s outfit, which consisted of a plain t-shirt and some basketball shorts he had snagged from Bill. 

“Ma, you keep it extremely hot in here,” Eddie started to explain, keeping his voice soft and sweet.

“It does not matter, Eddie. Do you want me to have to take you to the doctor’s office this weekend? It might be time for another flu shot…” She trailed off, in a thoughtful but almost threatening way. 

“No, no, no!” Eddie was quick to jump out of bed, starting to rummage through his closet for clothes to wear to school that day. “I just got one not too long ago, remember? I’m covered. I’m sorry, you’re right, I’ll start wearing those pajamas.” He gulped, hoping that had been enough to appease his mother.

“Alright, well I have some errands to run. Do you want me to drop you off at school?”

“No thank you, Mommy. Bill is picking me up.”

“I really don’t like you riding around with someone who has just gotten his license,” his mother started, sputtering as Eddie jogged past her.

“It’ll be okay, I’ll see you after school!” Eddie called out, running past her before she worried herself to death, which at the moment sounded good to him. He sprinted into the bathroom with his clothes in hand, and leaned against the door and huffed out a breath. Quickly getting dressed, he took a bit longer to fix his hair and brush his teeth, just as he did every day. He flashed a smile into the mirror, checking to make sure he had gotten every part of his mouth with the brush before putting it neatly back into its case and in the drawer. He had chosen a thin, pastel blue sweater and dark jeans that hugged his legs. 

He breathed a sigh of relief once he heard his mother’s car pull out of the driveway, feeling safe enough to walk into his house again. No matter how long Eddie lived there, he never felt this house was his home, especially once his father had died. He constantly felt he had to watch what he said, and tiptoe around the house when his mother was home so he didn’t get caught in another lecture about the dangers of bacteria. 

His phone beeped, signalling that he had received a text. Not even giving it a glance, Richie grabbed his messenger bag by the front door and jogged out to his driveway, where Bill was waiting in his mother’s old minivan. 

“Hey, Billy!” Eddie called out, stopping to give his friend a once-over before getting into the passenger seat. Unlike Eddie, Billy had grown more into his stature, filling out in his arms and chest sometime in the past couple years. His hair was still long, but was much longer than it had been when he was a skinny pre-teen, and it often hung in his eyes. Eddie knew this was a sort of rebellion Bill had enacted against his parents, since they were usually sticklers about keeping his hair short and in place. 

“Are we picking up Stanley today?” Eddie asked, shoving his bag between his legs and carefully snapping his seatbelt into its holder.

“No, he said he had to m-meet with his partner early this morning to work on some project. I don’t know, I didn’t really listen very well, I was texting with Bev,” Bill admitted, shyly glancing towards Eddie while still keeping a tight grip on the steering wheel. His stuttering was still apparent in his speech, but had majorly dissipated since Bill had fully gone through puberty.

“Bev? Beverly Marsh? From the party?” Eddie questioned, drawing his eyebrows together in confusion. There had been a party the previous weekend which of course Eddie didn’t attend due to his strict curfew. “I thought that she was dating that football player…” He trailed off, not quite remembering his name.

“Not according to her. They b-broke up last week,” Bill wiggled his eyebrows in a comically suggestive way, making Eddie chuckle. 

They pulled up to the school to find Stan sitting on one of the benches outside, close to the student parking lot. Once he noticed Bill’s van pulling into a parking spot, he quickly stood up and started stiffly walking over towards them.

“Oh my God, my partner never showed up! I-I can’t believe it!” Stan stammered, his shock and anger discernible in his facial features. He vented as the two boys collected their things from the van and stepped out, coming to form a group in front of the car. “We had agreed yesterday in science class, his first day back, that we would meet here at 6 this morning to finish our project. What a…. What a…” Stan trailed off, at a loss for the perfect expletive to describe his missing partner. 

Before Bill and Eddie could say anything to calm their friend down, Stan stood up straight once again and coldly brushed past them. Bill and Eddie shared a confused look at one another before turning around, and their jaws all but dropped.

“Where the hell were you?” Stan walked up to the boy approaching them, who put up his both hands in an innocent way.

_ Richie fucking Tozier. _

Eddie hadn’t seen Richie in close to a month due to Richie’s suspension from school. He had decided it would be funny to put live chickens in the principal’s office. Live chickens that escaped and left shit and droppings all over the school. Eddie almost gags just thinking about it. He didn’t even want to know where he got the chickens, or how he got them into the school with nobody noticing. Richie was stuck with 3 weeks’ suspension, and the school hallways felt cleaner, but more grim, ever since.

But he was back.

“Calm down, Stan the Man,” Richie started, letting a short chuckle escape his lips. He kept his head tilted down, his hair falling into his face and casting a shadow across its features. “I had something else come up. But we can work on it this afternoon once school lets out, that cool?”

“Yeah right, I’m not falling for that again. You made me wait here for two hours, I could have been studying for something else! You’re a douchebag, Tozier.” Stan gave one more glare at Richie before he walked back towards the school, his rigid body disappearing among the throng of arriving students.

“Stanley, wait up!” Bill called after him, shooting a glance at Eddie before running in the same direction.

“Hey, Eds,” Richie muttered, nodding towards Eddie as he tried to walk past him, continuing to keep his head down. 

Eddie winced at the nickname, stopping himself from saying something about it. “Why did you do that to Stanley? That was a fucked up thing to do, Richie,” Eddie blurted out.

Richie stopped and turned towards Eddie, a small smile on his lips. “I thought it’d be funny. You know how he always walks around like he has a stick up his ass? Well today I made it a whole branch.”

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, looking away so Richie wouldn’t get the satisfaction. “Well, it was still fucked up, Richie. I would have been pissed at you, making me wait for so long out here.”

“Yeah, well I wouldn’t have done that to you,” Richie admitted, finally meeting Eddie’s gaze. A smile still adorned his lips, but Eddie couldn’t help but gasp as Richie revealed a swollen and darkening bruise under his left eye. 

“Richie, what the fuck happened?” Eddie moved closer, reaching up to touch Richie’s cheek without thinking. Richie took a quick step back, confusion in his eyes, and Eddie’s hand remained in the air before flopping back down to his side. “S-Sorry.”

“Nothing to concern yourself with, Eds. I’ll be alright. I’m a big boy,” Richie murmured, just barely enough that Eddie could hear him. He looked around, checking to see if there were any teachers around, before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. “I’ll see you around.”

Eddie stood and watched as Richie walked off. The taller boy’s hands were shoved in the pockets of his jacket, and his hair bounced in loose curls as he walked off, a puff of smoke blowing behind him. Eddie’s watch beeped, and he quickly gathered his messenger bag from where he had dropped it beside him, and scurried towards the school before he was late for his first class.

_ Richie fucking Tozier. _


	2. Partnering Up

** 2nd Grade **

_ “Hi,” a low voice spoke out over the current conversation. _

_ Eddie and his friends Billy and Stanley were talking about their favorite television shows at lunch when the three turned to the direction of the voice. _

_ “Hey, you’re the new kid right?” Billy was the first to speak up, always being the more confident of the trio of friends. “I’m Billy, that’s Stanley and Eddie.” He gestured towards both of them as he spoke their names. _

_ “H-Hi,” the new kid stuttered, obviously nervous and taken aback by Billy’s confidence. “Yeah, I’m the new kid. I’m Richard, but I go by Richie.” He brushed his hands through his hair, glancing around nervously. “Is it… Would it be okay if I sat here for lunch?” _

_ “Yes!” Eddie blurted out, quickly snapping his mouth shut and wincing at his eagerness. “I mean, yeah you can.” _

_ Richie gave him a small smile and plopped into the seat next to him. “Thanks, Eds.” _

_ “That’s not my name,” Eddie frowned, giving him a look. _

_ “Sure it’s not, Eds.” _

_ Richie began digging through his lunchbox to find something he wanted to eat, but Eddie continued looking at him through his peripheral vision. The boy was pale, but not in a bad way; he looked almost like a doll with porcelain skin. There was a light smattering of freckles that covered the boys nose and cheeks, and spread down his neck. His hair was longer than Eddie’s hair had ever been, as his mother wouldn’t let it get past his ears. Their legs brushed together, and Eddie quickly stiffened and looked back at his plate of food, no longer hungry for any of it. The heat that had spread in his skin when their legs touched made Eddie confused, and a blush quickly radiated across his face.  _

_ “You alright, Eddie?” Stanley spoke up, pulling Eddie out of his own thoughts.  _

_ “Uh, yeah, I’m alright. I think I’m just having an allergic reaction to something, or something,” he muttered, trailing off. He reached down into his fanny pack and pulled out his brand new inhaler, and took a fast huff.  _

_ “You want my cookie?” Richie turned to Eddie, giving him a small smile and holding out a chocolate chip cookie. _

_ “Uh, s-sure,” Eddie stammered, taking the cookie. When their fingers brushed, the two boys instantly snapped their arms back, giving each other a dazed look. Eddie wondered if Richie felt the spark that he had felt, that still tingled in his fingers and was spreading up his arm.  _

_ The teachers began herding the students back towards their classrooms, signifying the end of the lunch period. The kids took their trays and dumped their lunches, and Eddie and Richie trailed behind. Eddie rubbed his hand on the back of his neck before he tripped on his own shoelace and fell forward into his tray of uneaten spaghetti.  _

_ “Oop!” Richie exclaimed, surprised at the sudden movement, quickly getting down and helping Eddie pick himself up. _

_ Tears sprung to Eddie’s eyes as he took a napkin and started trying to scrape the marinara sauce off his face and clothes. “I can’t believe I did this, I can’t believe I made a mess, my mom’s going to kill me,” he muttered, mainly to just himself, afraid of the trouble he had more than likely gotten himself in.  _

_ “Hey, it’s alright,” Richie murmured, helping Eddie pick up his tray so he could focus on cleaning himself off. Richie deposited the food into the trash, and the tray on the rack to be cleaned. He gave Eddie a big goofy-looking smile before helping him to his feet. “Well, now I can call you Eddie Spaghetti,” he smiled, clearly trying to make Eddie feel better. _

_ Before Eddie could say anything to him, Richie hoisted his backpack further against his back and squeezed Eddie’s hand with his own. _

_ Eddie had never felt more embarrassed in his life, but suddenly he felt okay. Richie’s hand around his seemed to ground him, whereas before he was floating in an empty void. His life had been dark, and he suddenly saw some light, he saw some sun. _

_ “Goodbye, Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie smiled, letting Eddie’s hand drop and walking towards his own classroom.  _

_ Eddie couldn’t help but smile.  _

\--

The day drug on for Eddie, each class seemingly getting longer and longer between the rings of the bell. He was in English, his last class of the day, which coincidentally he shared with a recently-suspended student. 

Letting his mind wander, his thoughts immediately went to Richie. His long, unkempt hair, his large hands that were always hidden deep within jacket or pants pockets, his dark eyes that looked as if they contained the secrets to the world, his lips that were permanently in a slight pout.

“Mr. Kaspbrak?” The teacher repeated, pulling Eddie out of his own mind. 

“Huh?” He spoke, his face flushed when he realized he had been staring at Richie, who was giving him a confused look back.

“Is there something interesting, Mr. Kaspbrak?” The teacher spoke again, raising her eyebrow.

“Uh… No, ma’am. Sorry,” He mumbled, sliding further down in his chair and focusing his attention on his notes.

“As I was saying,” the teacher continued, looking down at her clipboard. “We’re going to be doing a book report!” She rolled her eyes as the class unanimously groaned. “Wait, it gets better: you can work with a partner!”

Eddie groaned once again, this time internally.  _ Fuck, I don’t have any friends in this class.  _

“Don’t get too excited,” the teacher interrupted another time. “I already have your partners chosen for you. I have the list posted outside the classroom. Your names will be linked together, as well as the book I have assigned each pairing to write their report on. I want detailed essays, no less than 5 pages, and it will need to consist of a summary of the book as well as comparisons between the characters in the novel and yourselves.”

The class all stood up and rushed out the door to look at their pairings. Eddie stayed in his seat, watching as Richie took his time to gather his things and stand up, trailing slowly behind the group of students. He glanced at Eddie, shooting him a smirk when he was caught already staring, and disappeared out the door. 

Eddie slowly packed his bag, not eager at all to discover who is partner would be. All of the students seemed to shy away from Eddie, most likely because of the torment he received from Henry Bowers, the meanest fucking kid in school. Why Bowers decided to put all of his energy into making Eddie miserable, the boy did not know. He didn’t even think Bowers knew why he chose Eddie, but fuck if he made every day at school the worst fucking day. 

Eddie walked out the door and spun himself around before his eyes landed on the piece of paper that had been stuck to the left of the doorway. He scanned down the list, looking for his name before his face fell and all the blood drained from it. 

_ “Kaspbrak + Tozier -- Wuthering Heights” _

“Hey, partner,” Richie spoke up behind Eddie, making him jump. “Looks like we’re writing about Withering Heights.”   
“It’s  _ Wuthering _ Heights,” Eddie corrected, adjusting his messenger bag around his torso. “And yeah, I guess we are.”

“So, you want to come over after school tomorrow? My mom’s making spaghetti,” Richie chuckled, his smile broadened as Eddie’s face turned a dark red. “I’m kidding, Eds. But really, we should start working on the project, yeah?”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Eddie started, quickly continuing as Richie’s face fell. “No! I just mean maybe we could meet at the library or something instead, that way we have access to the book and stuff…” Eddie trailed off, his lame attempt at an excuse sitting in the air. 

“Uh, yeah. Sure, whatever you wanna do,” Richie quickly bounced back, giving Eddie another one of his charming smiles. “So, meet at the library tomorrow? 5 o’clock?”

“Okay, Rich. 5 o’clock,” Eddie agreed, giving him a small smile in return.

Richie nodded once and turned to walk off towards the student parking lot, his hands once again shoved into his jacket pockets. 

The teacher, Mrs. Smith, had always been a nice woman, especially to Eddie. Eddie tended to keep to himself and do his work, so she had never had any issues with him, and Eddie felt the same. However, right at this moment, Eddie wanted to dropkick her in the face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it will get better, I just gotta get there!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading again!!
> 
> And follow me on Twitter if you want! @reddiespagetti


	3. Flashback to 5th Grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited about this chapter, and I have a pretty solid idea of where I want this story to go!! Eep!
> 
> Make sure to follow me on Twitter @reddiespagetti  
And let me know what you think!!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!!

**** The following school day went by just as slowly for Eddie as the day before, but for another reason. He couldn’t even begin to explain to himself why he was so anxious but excited to see Richie after school. Throughout every class of the day, Eddie was constantly squirming in his seat, unable to sit still. He’d tap his foot on the floor, bite his lip, run his fingers through his hair, anything to keep time from seemingly standing still. Much like it had been for the past few days, Eddie let his mind wander to thoughts he usually kept locked away. 

\--

** 5th Grade **

_ “Hey, Eddie Queers-brak!” A voice cut through the hallway and made Eddie stop dead in his tracks. “What, you forget something?” _

_ Henry Bowers walked up to Eddie, pushing him against the wall with his forearm pressed against the smaller boy’s neck. Eddie already couldn’t breathe.  _

_ “W-What, Henry?” _ _   
_ _ He motioned to his friends who surrounded Eddie, all with shit-eating grins on their faces and their hands behind their backs. Nobody in the hallway moved a muscle as they all watched to see what would happen. Bowers stepped back, releasing his grip on Eddie so he could stand with his goons. Before Eddie could even think about a fight or flight response, he was getting hit with at least a dozen eggs. _

_ Everyone in the hallway laughed as Eddie shrieked, putting his arms over his face to prevent anymore egg shells and yolks to hit his cheeks. “Stop it, stop it! Please!” _

_ The bombardment of eggs stopped almost as quickly as it had begun, and Eddie was crouched against the wall as all the kids in the hallway, along with Bowers and his friends, were laughing at him. He began openly crying, picking eggshells out of his hair and wiping slime off his skin. Bowers comically pointed and laughed at him, as if this was the funniest fucking thing in the world. Eddie’s sadness mixed with rage, and he ran up and pushed Bowers back hard enough for him to hit the other wall, and began running as fast as he could. He wiped the tears from his eyes with the backs of his hands, and darted into the closest bathroom to try and lose the boys that had started running after him.  _

_ “Woah, what the fuck happened to you?” Richie was standing in the boys’ bathroom, a cigarette stuck lazily between his index and middle finger. _

_ Eddie leaned against the bathroom door, panting, holding it shut. _

_ “B-Bowers and… He-He… Eggs,” Eddie tried to say, his breathing stuttering in his chest. He quickly reached into his egg-covered fanny pack and pulled his inhaler to his lips, quickly breathing in the medicine. _

_ Since the two had met in second grade, they had been not much more than acquaintances. Richie was in separate classes from Eddie and his friends, but he still sat with them occasionally at lunch. He always had a quick joke or quip about one of the boys, mainly Eddie, and then he would disappear until the next day. Eddie’s fascination with Richie stemmed from the fact that nobody in the school knew anything about him. He always kept to himself, and he always wore the same black jacket to school, no matter the weather. His hair was always too long and disheveled, and his eyes always looked heavy, like he hadn’t slept well enough or he had baggage that he wasn’t ready to divulge to the world. Not to mention the fact that every time Richie paid even the slightest bit of attention to Eddie his legs would feel like jelly. Eddie didn’t understand his feelings towards the mysterious boy, and he wouldn’t let himself try to.  _

_ Richie furrowed his brows in concern, stubbed out his cigarette in the open windowsill, and cleared his throat. “C’mere, Eds.” _

_ Confused, Eddie slowly moved towards Richie, where they met in the middle at the sinks. Richie grabbed several paper towels from the dispenser and wet them, reaching towards Eddie, his eyes asking for permission. Eddie nodded once, and allowed Richie to wipe his arms and neck with the paper towels, shivering when cold water hit his skin. Richie bit down on his bottom lip as he moved the paper towels up Eddie’s neck and to his cheek. He kept his hand still on Eddie’s face, meeting Eddie’s gaze. He seemed to take in all of Eddie, the good and the bad, and his eyes filled with pity and something else. Something Eddie couldn’t quite put a finger on. _

_ “Eds, listen--” _

_ Before Richie could finish, Bowers and his friends burst into the bathroom, and the two boys sprung away from each other in surprise.  _

_ “What the fuck are you faggots doing?” Bowers demanded, making Eddie wince in fear. _

_ “Same thing you and your douchebag friends do every night,” Richie snapped back, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. His eyes darkened as he took a glance towards Eddie, tilting his head to the right as if to say ‘get out of the way.’ _

_ “The fuck you say, Tozier?” _

_ “I said fuck off, Bowers!” Richie lunged towards Bowers and they began throwing fists and feet. They tumbled out of the bathroom and right into the arms of the principal, who had been alerted as soon as Bowers and his gang had run after Eddie. Although he yelled at the boys to stop, they didn’t stop doing so until more teachers arrived and physically pulled them apart. _

_ “Both of you. My office. Right NOW,” the principal shouted, grunting in an exasperated manner as he shuffled off towards the administration office. _

_ The teachers pulled Bowers away first, giving Richie enough of a chance to glance back at Eddie and flash him a smile. Although his face contained ever-darkening bruises and a bloody nose, that smile was the best thing Eddie had ever seen in his life.  _

\--

“Hey Eds, you ready to go?”

Richie was standing in front of Eddie, seemingly towering over him since Eddie was still seated at his desk.  _ Is class over already? _

“Class is over, doofus,” Richie said again, trying to get Eddie’s attention, as if he could read his mind. “You ready to go to the library?”

“I… I thought you were going to blow me off like you did Stan,” Eddie answered honestly, putting his things away in his bag. His watch beeped, and before getting up he took a couple of his medicines.

“What do you take those for?” Richie asked, trying to peek into Eddie’s fanny pack, which he quickly snatched away from Richie’s line of sight.

“None of your business, fuckface,” Eddie snapped, causing Richie to chuckle.

“Whatever dude, let’s go.”

The two left the classroom side by side, and the ruckus around them caused them to have to walk dangerously close to one another. Eddie couldn’t help but blush again when their arms grazed each other, the hair on the back of his neck sticking up. The school was buzzing with happiness as students prepared for their weekends, and talk of a party was spreading around campus like a wildfire. 

“Are you gonna be at the party tomorrow night?” Eddie asked, just trying to fill the silence between the two boys. 

Richie gave him a lopsided smile, and shrugged. “Dunno. What about you, Eds? Are you going to be there?”

“I don’t really fit in when it comes to parties,” he admitted, giving him another shrug back, and focused his attention on the floor in front of him. 

“Well…” Richie seemed to ponder what he wanted to say next. “How about if I meet you there? Those parties are lame anyway, but maybe this one doesn’t have to be.”

Eddie looked away from Richie’s gaze, trying to hide the redness that once again adorned his face and the happiness that he felt. He nodded, before trying to turn the conversation to a less embarrassing place. “What happened? To your face, I mean.”

Richie’s smile faded and he turned his attention away from Eddie once again. “So, what’s this  _ Wuthering Heights _ book about anyway?”

“C’mon Rich, I’m serious,” Eddie tried again, tugging at Richie’s elbow to make him stop walking and turn to face him. “It looks bad. Did you get in a fight?”

“Yes,” Richie admitted, his voice softer than Eddie had ever heard it. 

Anger bubbled up in Eddie’s stomach when he thought about somebody hurting Richie, his Richie.  _ My Richie? I have to be fucking insane. We haven’t spoken to each other in forever, and I’m already getting fucking territorial? Fuck off, Kaspbrak and your fucking feelings. _ “Who was it?”

Richie tugged his arm away, his face clearly indicating he didn’t want to talk any more about it. “I’ll tell you if you tell me what the meds are for, Eds.”

Eddie quickly lowered his gaze from the burning intensity in Richie’s eyes to the linoleum floor.  _ How long has it been since they’ve fucking mopped this place? _

“That’s what I thought. Now c’mon, we’ve got work to do,” Richie said, his voice deep and rushed. He squeezed Eddie’s arm, giving him a small smile before turning and walking a few feet ahead, preventing any further conversation.

Richie always seemed to know how to get under Eddie’s skin. Whether it be on purpose or unintentionally, Eddie always seemed to want to open up to Richie. However, that door in Eddie’s mind was staying fucking locked tight. He did  _ not _ want to tell anyone what happened the summer before 10th grade. He especially didn’t want to tell Richie, but based on the depth and concentration that Richie’s eyes had displayed, he had a sinking feeling he already had an idea. 


	4. The Summer Before 10th Grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw// self-harm and suicide attempt
> 
> I hope you all like this chapter explaining what happened during the summer before 10th grade! I tried so hard with this chapter, so I really hope you all enjoy it and it provides more backstory for Richie and Eddie. 
> 
> Follow me on Twitter! @reddiespagetti

** Summer Before 10th Grade **

_ “Eddie?” _

_ “Eddie!” _

_ “No, my baby boy! Eddie! What have you done? Why did you do this to your mother?” _

_ His mother’s cries were distant and muffled. Eddie winced at the anger and upset that clearly laced her voice, but couldn’t find it in him to look at her. Whether that hesitation to meet her eyes was from fear or his inability to move a muscle, he didn’t know. While he was still in an immense amount of pain stemming from his wrists, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of freedom from the suffocating grasp from his mother. His cheek was flush against the cool tile in the bathroom floor, and he didn’t even wince at the idea of dirt and grime getting on his skin. He could finally be himself, he was finally free. _

_ Richie. _

_ His mind flashed to the boy that had slid into his life as if he had always belonged there. The boy that had shared his cookie with him that first day in second grade, who had helped him when he was being attacked by Bowers and his gang in fifth grade, and that dazzling smile he had whenever Eddie showed him the slightest bit of attention. Eddie knew after that first smile he had received after Richie’s fight with Bowers in the bathroom. He knew his feelings for Richie weren’t a mistake, and he knew that he wanted to make Richie smile like that as often as possible. That smile brightened Eddie’s life, it was the one thing that made Eddie’s heart get caught in his throat, and yet he felt like he needed it to breathe correctly.  _

_ This past school year had opened Eddie’s mind to all the possibilities that had arisen from their friendship, but had all been ripped away from everyone in Eddie’s life. After Bill and Stan had left Eddie on the last day of school, Bowers and his gang had once again found him, and chased him on their bikes through town. Eddie was sure that if Richie hadn’t happened to walk past the alleyway Eddie had found himself cornered in, he would have been in deep trouble. Once again, Richie risked his own bodily health to protect Eddie from the sharp switchblades that belongs to the three thugs, and Eddie couldn’t do anything but shout and feel absolutely helpless.  _

_ “Stop protecting your boyfriend, faggot,” Bowers snarled, hurling a strong punch against Richie’s nose. Richie staggered back in a daze, his hands flying instantly to his nose as he groaned in pain.  _

_ Eddie’s whole body became rigid at the slur, and his face drained of all color. He couldn’t help but tear up, making himself feel like an even bigger baby amidst these two boys fighting.  _

_ Richie chuckled, turning his head to the side and spat out the blood that his filled his mouth. “Bowers, I could only be so lucky,” he quipped back, giving Eddie another one of his one-of-a-kind smiles. His teeth were still red with his blood, but Eddie still internally swooned at the happiness that still filled Richie’s features. “It’s not my problem you’re a homophobic piece of shit.” _

_ Just like in school those few years ago, Bowers and Richie’s fight continued long enough for adults to intervene. However this time, police and parents were called. Two men showed up, one clearly a police officer and one dressed in a very formal suit and tie, and they pulled the two boys apart. Before Eddie could even begin to think of explaining the situation and defending Richie, he heard something that made his blood run cold. _

_ “Edward Kaspbrak, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Sonia Kaspbrak was waddling very quickly down the sidewalk, her face red and sweaty in anger. “What are you doing with these hooligans?” _

_ “Ma, I--” Eddie was cut off when he received a quick slap in the face from his mother.  _

_ “Do  _ not _ speak back to me, Eddie. I have had enough of it. Is this how you want your life to turn out? Fighting with a bunch of… Bunch of queers?” Sonia said the word as if it was the filthiest thing she had ever said. _

_ Eddie, still reeling from the slap, held his hand over his cheek. “What?” _

_ “I got a call from Mr. Keene that these boys were fighting and you were in the middle of it. Why do you want to disappoint me like this, Eddie? Why do you want to disappoint your mother?” _

_ “B-But… I-I…” Eddie couldn’t wrap his head around what was happening. “Richie…” _

_ “I see how that boy looks at you, Eddie. Like you’re a snack. Like you’re something to conquer. And I hear about how you look at him. Like you’re a faggot, Eddie. He doesn’t care about you, Eddie-bear. You can see that, right? I’m the only one that will ever really care for you. He won’t ever understand you like I do.” _

_ Overwhelmed, tears streamed down Eddie’s face as he glanced over at Richie, who was getting reprimanded by the man he could only assume was his father. His face and arms were already quickly forming bruises, and his lip was split open. However, when Eddie had glanced over, Richie seemed to sense he was being stared at, so he met Eddie’s gaze. Ignoring everything that was happening around him, Richie gave Eddie another smile. This time, this one was saying “it’ll be okay”. Any movement that was taking place had slowed to a standstill, and Eddie and Richie were the only people left in the world.  _

_ Before he could stop him, Richie was bounding over to Eddie and his mother.  _

_ “Mrs. Kaspbrak, it’s all my fault. Eddie had nothing to do with it, Bowers is a fuckwad and--” _

_ Eddie’s mother pulled her son behind her, attempting to hide him from Richie. “Listen here you… you...” she began, as if searching for the next slur she wanted to hurl at him, but giving up. “You stay away from my baby boy, you understand me? He doesn’t need a fairy boy like you trying to convert him into whatever the fuck you are. He doesn’t need to be around the likes of you, so stay away.” _

_ With that, she began pushing Eddie back to their house. Eddie attempted to look back at Richie with pleading eyes, trying to convey a message. The only glimpse he could make out was Richie’s mouth dropped open in shock before his whole body slumped in defeat. The look that Richie had on his face was forever burned in Eddie’s mind, and not even the mental insults and physical abuse that his mother had put him through that night would hurt as much as Richie’s face did.  _

_ Ever since that night after the fight, his mother was convinced that Eddie had been corrupted by “the gays,” and she was trying to change him back through Bible verses and any other type of conversion therapy she felt would work. Eddie tried to appease her to get her off his back, but he couldn’t help his mind from wandering to Richie and his face. Richie and his split lip and bloody nose from protecting Eddie. His smile whenever Eddie would look his way, or laugh at one of his jokes. All throughout Richie’s mocking and nicknames and teasing and overall ridiculousness, Eddie couldn’t shift his thoughts to anything else. And he realized that he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to think of anything but Richie for the rest of his life, but he wasn’t sure what that meant. Deep down, he knew what that meant, but he couldn’t fully accept it, especially with the torment his mother was putting him through on a daily basis that summer. A torment that he felt was eternal. _

_ He couldn’t see an end to his suffering, so he felt that he needed to choose when that end would happen. He needed to take control of his life, for fucking once.  _

_ Secretly buying the razors at Keene’s Pharmacy had surprisingly been the easy part; it was sneaking away from his mother’s prying eyes that had been the difficult part. Eddie’s heart pumped in his chest, and he was almost convinced that his mother knew what was going on. When he finally was able to excuse himself from their nightly bible study to use the restroom, his heartbeat sped up impossibly more, and he bit his lip as he quickly walked to his own personal bathroom. He had hid the supplies in one of the drawers by the sink amidst his extra toothbrushes and toothpastes.  _

_ He ran the sink’s faucet and began doing what he felt he needed to do, the thing that would save him from the hell his mother put him through. His vision became cloudy and he dropped to the floor, and he thought of only Richie. Richie and his hair that looked like he always just woke up, but in a good way. Richie and his eyes that were dark but still showed everything that the boy was feeling. Richie and his bright white teeth that glistened every time he smiled at Eddie. Eddie couldn’t get over that smile, as if nothing was ever wrong in the world when he looked at Eddie. He wished he could have smiled back at him more, to show that he felt the same. Richie and… _

_ Eddie woke up in pain, confused at where he was.  _

_ “Am I dead?” He spoke, his voice cracked and rough.  _

_ A woman dressed in white came over and gave him a small smile, shaking her head. “No, sweetie. You’re in Derry hospital. You’re okay.” _

_ His heart stopped as he began remembering everything he had gone through, what his mother had put him through.  _

_ Mistaking the reasoning behind his fear, the nurse placed a hand gently on Eddie’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, your mother is just down at the cafeteria, she’ll be back any minute.” _

_ \-- _

Eddie’s phone beeped again, signalling that he had received yet another text message from Bill.

“Mom, I have to go! Billy’s waiting on me!”

“Okay, but Eddie-bear,” she said again, tugging on his sweater to stop him once more. “Are you sure you have to go out tonight? We were supposed to have bible study again, remember? I just wish you had given me more notice that you had to study.”

“We just got this project yesterday, there wasn’t much notice for me either,” he spoke softly, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. They had bible study every fucking night of the week, and it wasn’t doing anything to alter Eddie’s thoughts about Richie.

His phone beeped again and he groaned, finally pulling it out of the back pocket of his black cargo pants. 

Bill: Eddie, I’m outside, you ready?   
Bill: Eddie, hello?

Bill: Don’t bitch out on me, Eddie. 

Bill: Eeeddddiiiieeeee

Eddie adjusted his lavender sweater, tugging the sleeves further down his arm to cover his hands, and waved goodbye to his mother. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mommy.” He stuck his phone back in his back pocket, and jogged out of the house, ignoring whatever precautions she was telling him to take.

_ Party time. _

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first major fic about Richie and Eddie, so I'd love some feedback! 
> 
> Thanks for reading, I love y'all so much!
> 
> (Also! You can follow me on my Twitter @reddiespagetti for more CONTENT)


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